heart weigh

i wonder how much you weight in my heart?

this is a line i will always ask myself. and than i will determined that he or she is important to me or vice versa. But sometimes i will make mistake as well because is not really easy to for your heart to give you an accurate answer. A few thoughts in my mind and a few people in my heart, trying to process them. Wonder who is more important than who, what is more important than the other. These kind of thing might make me go cook-coo someday i know. But well, this is a "thing" that i need to live to move on and to love someone correctly.

do you want to weigh your weight in my heart?

The weather today=cloudy

It's been cloudy all week. and i can't help myself from becoming cloudy too. feels like i let a whole bunch of cloud into my heart and all i can think of are negatives stuff. suddenly i feel my luck is gone, everyone seems to far away from me, my charm is gone and so does my self esteem. Though i prefer cloudy day than sunny day sometimes, because i hate the sun for making me dark...><. but i never thought sunny day can actually turn someone's feeling from down to up.

guess yesterday wasn't a good day for me so it made me think this way.

We are growing.. and no stopping

its growing old i meant.....
here is a good thing bout having friends who are still in high school.... girls and boys who are 5,6 years younger than you.... you can see it clearly... the age gap. When you think well i am still 23 what's the big deal? i am in my twenties and hey i can't talk to old hag.. me and them... age gap. Think like that and you are the old hag yourself.

I instantly find myself having this age gap problem on April's fool, though i am not fooling anyone but myself that i am still young.. wee-hoo. Went out with a bunch of high school friends yesterday to, well have a last meet with a guy Mochi who is going to Tokyo for further studies after high school. We seems well in sms, we chat like usual, laugh like usual. But when it comes to the meeting part, it was so uh-oh. The things you find interested in shopping mall=different, the stuff that you think is funny=different, and the freaking way you dress=different, Oh i do feel like an old hag walking with them and boy i was quiet, the most quiet 4 hours in my life i can say~~~~!
I didn't even talk a lot during lunch. Lunch for me is the best place to chit chat~!! and for a minute i was thinking " what's wrong with you people?? you just came and eat and play on your phone and some stupid games and not chit chat ??" but then i realize the problem is on me. I was the old hag and i am no longer their age to understand what they are doing or thinking.

this is the game i meant. Erm its' call who-can-sing-the-most-cm-songs. The little tube with paper in the middle is something you push to your opponent when you finish singing a cm song


and there they are, happy and interested.




and say hellooo to the prove of age gap.. there~!


I am no longer young and fresh like them and i do enjoy talking about love, cute guys and about getting a job and mama mia money. Can play no more games in my life as it will affect my future. At the end of the day, a 31% discount baskin robin's cherry flavored ice-cream made my day.

Hmp...占卜？

算命先生“我在银座”的占卜结果。

黄舒琦，有这样的趋势。

+ 有奇怪的特长
+ 喜欢安静
+ 适合细致的工作
+ 更适合扎推
+ 乖
+ 能理性地进行判断
+ 不拘小节


特别是黄舒琦，有这样的趋势。

・有时会寻求救赎
・开始干一件新的事的时候却没有精神
・正逐渐忘了自己有颗单纯的心
・喜欢有意思的人
・喜欢一些疯狂的东西

黄舒琦从我的意见。

・记住怎么吃芸豆

by 俺占卜
→ http://cn.oreuranai.com/
am i like that??

oops~

There are just so many things in this world that couldn't be explained...
human itself is a magnificently weird creature i can say.. what makes us so complicated is that
we have this thing called feeling...
sometimes u hate it sometimes you'd love it. u just can't explain the urge, or the sixth sense
or whatever you call it that plays a big part in ur decisions...
Male might think clearly but for female's most of the time we follow our inner voice.... that is when we are called
emotional right? but hey that is what a female made of.. emotion... its ok to be call emotional...

i am emotional too, if i am not i wouldn't be writing this blog out of the blue..
my mind is filled with whole lotta stuff to do but yet my heart asked me to blog..
might make me feel better maybe...XD

just came back from malaysia.... everything in Japan, even my own room seem
so unfamiliar to me... maybe i miss those smiles in malaysia... thinking back now
i and surrounded by warm hearted friends and families who make me feel warm
and made a place for me to go home to....

loneliness + coldness = missing

what is what?

sometimes, i just came to a point that i don't know what i want.
sometimes, i even lie to myself, convince myself that this isn't happening..

sometimes, i need time to be alone
sometimes, i want to be flirt
sometimes, i need something that flips my heart around
sometimes, i need excitement
sometimes, i need tenderness
sometimes, i need craziness
sometimes, i need freedom...

sometimes i am greedy, i want everything my way, i want the world to spin
by my will, i want the flowers to bloom under my permission....
i am bossy yes sir~~!

i am just lost.... and i don't think there is someone there who can fulfill my every needs......
life's like that huh...

Glay countdown live 2009/12/31~2010/01/01

i really don't know where to start....
4 hours of songs, tears, laughter, excitement, heart racing~!!!

THE CONCERT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS~!
(just like how long Ryan loves his gf...XDXD)

I tried to let me calm down in these few days and hope to get a clear
mind so i can post my opinion and thoughts about the concert..
but i guess i am still exited and still can't get my mind out of the
environment that day~!><

Many songs have been sang... old and new~!^^
all i can say Teru's voice sure is heaven's sent... just like an angel to me...
he made us cry and then jump out with a cute face making us laugh again...
He is so sexy, playful on stage... and flirting with us a lot..^//^

Jiro is as cute as ever, swing his head attractively while playing his bass and smile playfully...
throwing guitar picks that i wanted so much but too bad
i am not in front enough to get it~!T^T

Hisashi, cool as ever hahaha.... his make-up was so gothic that day~!^7^
and the best part is hisashi's Q&A session...
They choose questions from fans and Teru asked hisashi..
Questions:
1)Teru (read): What will you do in winter when it is cold outside?
Hisashi:: curl up in kotatsu (kotatsu is a table with blanket covering the side and below the table will have a electric warmer so it will keep u warm while watching tv in living room~!^^)

so cute~!! just like a cat?=3

2)Teru: use one word to describe year 2009
Hisashi: The past

Lolz~!!!! ROFL~!!!!!! as cool as ever,, too bad i forgot other questions.. i think he asked 5 of them..
those fans sure is happy when their name is called..>< next time i will remember to fill the
form... maybe they will pick me]y question~!XD

Takuro, takuro... less with the "me..me" thingy...
And i do respect him as a talented song composer and lyric writer..
but i told my friend i wont scream his name...><.. but in the end i did screamed his name
until my throat went dry....because Takuro just did something that touches everyone deeply..
At the end of the show... after everyone went backstage... he was the last one
to walk inside and before he did... he turn around and bow 90 degrees ...
for almost 1 minute...>< to show his appreciation... i am just so touched...

The great news Takuro brought us is.... THEY ARE HAVING A TOUR AROUND JAPAN in 2010~!!
OMG YAY~!!!! COME TO AOMORI COME TO AOMORI~!! AND I WILL GO TO HOKKAIDO
AS WELL~!!!!>3<

Teru's creativity is evergreen.... the Glay's shrine for fans to pray( coz japanese go to shrine for
prayers in new year) and some animation when they are changing backstage~!^.^
to wrap all this up in one word=UNFORGETTABLE~!!!!!

Of course.... i will never miss a chance to buy concert goods~!!!!!
T-shirt~!!! 4000yen....but i am wearing Teru's pattern...XD forgive the dirty mirror>>




Back style~!(sorry for the dirty mirror..==)




The looong towel~!^.^ 2000yen


Look closer.. these are the tour dates~!^^


And this is the date i went to~!XDXD


so hisashi's style.... maybe designed by him~!=x



To-to bag~!!!!^.^ for only 600yen... used once only...><



Newsletter bag found on our seats~!^^



beh tahan~! i MUUST have one hanging on my wall~!XD


and the ticket that made me broke........>8<.. price=secret.. all i can tell u is u can buy 2 ipod nano in japan......

An Cafe live house~!!!!^.^

Finally after all these months...I have something to post~!!i FINALLY have something to post~!!!

An cafe~!Live in Aomori Quater


Concerts are awesome as well but i personally prefer Live house~!!^.^
Today i went to An Cafe's live house. It was held in a pub and believe me it is
very very very small~!!!! only can fill 144~150 people! That is the best part~!^.^

First of all, i admire my strength, mentally and physically... This live house is today
that is 9/27, sunday and the day before i attend a student exchange activity
which require me to spend a night outside my dorm.. omg do believe me when i
tell you this i only slept for 2 hours because those kids are just to noisy~! and
the leader told everyone freaky stuff happened around the place we are staying
and that really freak the hell out of me....

And then~! with a tired body (and i am having my P by the way..==)
i went lining to buy An Cafe live house goodies--towel it is a must~!!!!
then line up and waited to go inside the pub.And then one by one according to
numbers one by one we went in..

When the band came in OMG i can't believe myself seeing Miku, Teruki, Canon standing
in front of me. Miku is such a sweetie coz he knows people behind can't see him so
he stood on the highest spot on stage so that we behind can see him as well~!!!
Started off with rock songs that made everyone went high~@
And then Miku's mc time. He brought us bad news and good news...
The Bad news is this is An Cafe's last tour because they want to take a break
and all activities stopped for the moment..T^T so sad....
And the good news is, This live house went live on Aomori tv~!!
and Miku has his own way with the crowd. His interact so well with
us^.^. Coz someone asked when this Live house is being aired?(at first we didn't know there was a camera man
recording us live~!@@) and Miku says: Now~! at this moment when the next song start~!! and everyone was
shocked and happy and went excited..hahaha

Miku's vocal is so strong and you cant' hear his breathing!!!amazing~!!!!! and he kept us jumping
and dancing~! He kept the atmosphere high and happy~!!! and nyappy~!!^w^
And in between while miku is resting, other members had a small drama played.
If you know kekekeketaro.. an anime about monsters..hahaha Teruki is Teruki taro and kanon
is the eyeball father, takuya is cat and yuki is a water demon~!! Teruki is very talented in voice
imitating~! hahaha and kanon as well~!! the play was damn funny~!!!XD
Miku sang a lot and talked a lot to us and the main show lasted for 1 hour plus..
And encore time~!!!! they sang for 45minutes man!!!! And Miku spill water to everyone using his
Mouth~!! and even jump down stage!! too bad i stand too far to touch him~!!T^T
And i didnt even get anything they throw down stage..miku threw the bottle he drank
and takuya threw guitar pick,,,know why i didn't get?Coz japanese gals too ganas~!!==
i tell you.. wear so cute when snatch things damn ganas~!! i duwanna get hurt~!!>>
And the 3rd last song, Miku sang a song called "You".. he made this song just after they
plan to shut down all activities and rest. He says he knows everyone of us work very hard
and sometimes too hard, he wanted to delivery a message saying that we can laid back sometimes,
take a rest or fool around, don't have to work too hard everytime, it is ok if you tried!!
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~!! i tell you everyone cried like hell!!
even guys!! i cried too~! that is why my eye liner smeared~!!
And Miku was to sad making all of us cry and he kept apologizing.. Then he want us to smile
again coz he want to remember our smiling face not crying face~!!X3
And then he took out his Donald Duck puppet~!XD made us dance like mad and then
We all took out the towel as told( you see i told you it is a must to buy towel~!^.~)
Coz the 2nd last song was boundz kizuna, miku says the towel is a bound between us and them~!!XD
And the last song for the night~!!!Smile Ichiban II onna~!!! kiyaaa we all sang along~!!!
And last last, All of them spoke and thanked us. Miku stayed till the end and his last word
is Aishiteru!!!XDXDXD

Miku is so sexy and lively on stage... kanon was cool as usual~! teruki is so leader and yuki is
a liittle dumb and takuya is just cute~!!

The Ticket~!!




Wanna Cover my Dark circle but failed~!!==


My outfit~!! with long white boots~!! my boots are the same with Miku's but he's was pink~!^3^


The van~!!so cute rite?XDXDXD


The pub... small rite??




Live house goodies~!!XDXD cost me bout rm100~!@@


The Towel






I will remember this forever and ever


Wrist band~!






See~!! smeared make-up but happy nyappy~!XD


Nyappy Mirror~!!^^








L.O.V.E nyappy~!!

50/50

Got scholarship, had my part-time job practical done...
I should be happy shouldn't i?

An then happily i was about to make lunch, with my favorite show on the tv.
Then, MJ's death's news was announce suddenly.

My feelings change suddenly, like sunny day to rainy day.
I was shocked, messed up and freaking sad.

Lately, there have been too many death from the entertainment world.
I do hope famous people nowadays will start to take care of their health.
Anything happen to them will break millions of hearts and bring down thousand gallon
of tears.

Rest in Peace MJ. Your music will always be in my heart

Gloomy Weekend(_ _||)

It will be raining in Japan this weekend..
Well i think it rains because everyone feel gloomy especially mua..
BECAUSE ADAM DIDNT WIN AMERICAN IDOL AND I DONT KNOW WHY!!!
he freaking deserve to win the title... anyone can see it.
He has the one in a million voice and he is born to be a star.
I just can't accept the result. Just felt like something is wrong with
America!!!!ARGH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya i am emotional i know, enough of it!
I know Adam will be more famous than the winner..
When the new season of American Idol starts, i think no one
give a damn about the 8th season winner. no one barely remembers
i guess......... not trying to be a sour grape but this is the truth!!
Do u remember season 2's winner?how about season 3? and 4?

Adam is different, his name will last forever in the American Idol hall of fame. people who
can see his talent will understand, and remember Adam Lambert- the one in a million super star!!!!!!!!

Long time no SEE~!

Since a loooo00o0ong time since i've blog..
Well not much changes in my life except that my Dad is out of job
that's why money seems very important to me now..
And my studies as usual, busy with reports assignments..
Lately joined Japanese Civil Law research team, with only me
the foreigner with whole bunch of japanese and a very funny happy-go-lucky teacher..

The thing that made me happy lately is i might gotten a scholarship..
but the thing is some said it is confirm some say it is not, but officially the money
is not in my account yet~!!!! oh i hope the money come faster~!!T^T

Well drop all the stress, i do enjoy as well..^^

Lately passion for Crayon Shin chan has grown in me..haha
i even bought the snack shin chan love the most in the anime and guess
what, it wasn't bad at all.... somehow it is tasty =^.^=


Treat myself with A Superb Dessert (A Cake and banana slice toping with banana pudding, red bean and coffee ice-cream>0<)



Had hokkaido's Full cheese cheese cake ~!YUM~!!!@.@


Say HI to our first spring beetle~!^.^


Go crazy when i Saw X JAPAN printed behind my shopping bag~!!!O.o


Be a fan girl of Adam Lambert and sent him a handmade sakura bookmark~!=)
I still my Surname coped below the bookmark..XD


Closer look you can see the flower went brownT^T


As soon as the petal touched the glue, from pink it turned brown~AH Vicious chemical reaction~!!!X.X


Guess my life is still fun as long as i keep it fun~!!^.^
despite the stress and heavy school work i got, oh yea and my JLPT test~!>.>
I still am enjoying my life~!!

I should be prod of myself~=)