Saturday, January 29, 2005

So UN-smooth

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR HYDE,HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!yea,it's hyde's birthday,and i really hope i can send my regards to him...well birthday is important to everyone,and everything is hope to be going smoothly.Oh yea, it's Masa's Dizzy Drive first ever concert too! HEY MASA!HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL TODAY!!Yea,everyone sure hope everything goes smoothly everyday,but sometimes there's someday everything just don't turn out right,you can't find anything that you like at the mall while others do,you can't find anything happy to laugh about,and you can't find anything to do at the night.Sighs,i was having it today,i really caan't find any mood to laugh and i really don't have mood to do anything.Even chat with my best friends.I don't even have the mood to find Gackt's pictures,or download mp3s,or pvs.oh yea,i don't even have the urge to eat.Everytime when i bang myself into this kind of situation,i'll hope that tomorrow come faster,coz,"tomorrow is always a better day"that's what i think so that my anger will be in control.You will just feel like something is missing,and your mind is blank,don't know what to do and will be provoke easily.*sighs*ok,end of it,i might as well prepare to go to bed and hope tomorrow is another bright sunny day for me.Big smiles^^,end.......

Friday, January 21, 2005


'Cuz we lost it all, Nothing lasts forever,I'm sorry I can't be perfect,Now it's just too late and We can't go backI'm sorry I can't be perfect...'
used to love that song,and everytime it plays on the radio,i'll sing along.I knew no one is perfect and so am i,i just love the song,but never thought one day the song really sing my heart out.My mum used to say,she asked me to control my temper,i have a bad temper.Few years ago,I hate it when my mum say that to me,because i know what i'm doing,and i think what i do is right,but now,i know she's right,i really have a bad temper,and it's not ok to carry this bad attitude with me,i need to endure when things really didn't come my way.I need to hold my temper and make it dissapear before disaster.Now i'm trying so hard to struggle,whenever i release my temper,i know i shouldn't do what i've done.and when my mum said i should hold my temper,i just keep quite,she's right,but she don't know i'm trying so hard not to get angry,so hard not to throw my temper on people that do me wrong.Sometimes i just hope i can be perfect,but i can't,no human is perfect.I trying so hard,keep trying and trying.....

Thursday, January 06, 2005


What i've learn today,it's not to say anything when i'm in a blurry situation.If i haven't make it clear,i shouldn't had say anything,it might hurt someone accidentaly.And when you realise it,it might be too late.I guess feeling guilty in this kinda of situation is useless,coz it's my fault not to make things clear enough.I'm really famous to talk fast and straight.I know it might hurt someone but at least i know what i'm saying,and it may be right.But i never thought i will put myself in this kind of situation,so let's just put it as a painful,guilty lesson i've learn.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

My Future

I'm walking on a path,beside me i can see many people.These people are busy doing something,but i know they are happy with what they are doing.They've found the road they want to go,they've got thier life thier future,and it's what they have been dreaming.Then the scenery changed.I'm burry in whiteness,all i can see is pitch white,i can't see what's infront,it's too bright and blurry.I kept on walking and walking.I don't know where i'm heading to,i just know i have to keep walking.Finally i've reached to an end.But i know it's not the end,because i've reach three doors.on Each door there's name on it.Music,Law and Tourismt.There's three different doors lead to three different path.One is my dream,one is my destiny and one is my interest.I'm standing infront of the three doors.The story can't end yet because i can't choose which door to open.I don't know which road is right for me and i don't know which road i will regret to choose.The story must end,but not now....

Saturday, January 01, 2005


A new year has come,it's also a kick start for me,new dreams,new hope,new life....I don't know i should be happy about my new freedom or not.It's the first time i spend my new years eve with my friends,my parents didn't hold me back that night,infact the call me after midnight,to know when i'm coming home.I'm happy i can spend the night with my dearest friends,but i really felt kinda wierd cuz my parents whos' usually strict to me let me go,it's that how it feels?the tatse of first freedom?My feelings were messed up this morning,i cried while listening to Gackt's song.He is one of the person i respect the most in my entire life,I couldn't have thank him enough,his songs brings my spirit high and keeps me on the move whenever i felt like giving up.I wrote him a long,long letter and i hope it can reach his hand,i really want him to know how i feel and my appriciation.Atarashi,means new in japanese,i hope it also bring new hope for the tsunami friends that been through a rough new year.Atarashi no jinsei,means a new life,i hope they will go on with thier life even with the pain of the lost of thier love ones,they still have to go on.I can't hold and shed a tear to see those people in pain,i found out life is so precious and it can be gone in a blink of eye,we have to cherish love one before it's too late,Money can buy anything but not everything,something like love and the caring community it's something money can't buy.I guess it's a little bit messy for my post,cuz i dun have a main theme or something,just what i year,here i come!!!