Saturday, March 07, 2009

Rachmaninov Piano Concerto 2 in C# op18

Whenever i listen to this song it will make me calm, but the ups and downs of the melody
make me think about life, well that is the way life goes.. up and down.

When listening to this songs, memories in my head just pop up like a photo album.
flipping its pages in front of my eyes, showing me the road i have walked through
until today, where i am standing.

Sometimes i would want to grab the people that i love to stick with me and walk together
with me on the path call life, i wanted them to share everything i am doing and of course
do it with me, have fun with me, cry with me, go crazy with me. A selfish act i can say,
but of course, i didn't do that. and i do not have the power to grab everyone that i love
to walk with me, they have their own lives to go on, their own path to walk, or maybe
have someone else to walk with them.

I do believe fate is something that you can mold and live is something that you can create,
just like a painting, what kind of feeling and emotions you want to show to others depends
on what colour you choose. I think my painting shall be full of happy colours like yellow,
red, pink, baby blue, orange and so on. Well at least i give others a happy impression.

If i could, i swear i would colour people with happy colours so that everyone shall be happy,
but i can't, can i? i barely know the person who will walk this path with me, he still seems so

I am standing on a point that it seems like that i have everything i wanted, but i felt that there
is something i want more, something that i am not satisfied with. or maybe i can say, something
that i can't be sure of...The Future. I am someone who really concern about what my future will
be like. Will i still have a everlasting friendship with the friends i love so much? Will i have a bright
career ? Will i be able to do things that i passion so much? Will i make something that will make my
family proud?

Staying in a stranger's country sure taught me a lot. Make me want to be a better person
but yet i might loose something like i can't attend my best friend's wedding, i can't be by her side when
is giving birth, i can't meet my beloved teacher whom i wanted to meet so much, i can't be by my family's
side when my mum need me the most. Suddenly freedom felt like a chain that weights so much, weight
that held my wings to the ground.

The path that lead me here, i now can only look at the footsteps i took but i can't turn back.
All i can do is keep walking and walking until i reach that somewhere i wanted to reach.
Along with Rachmoninov's melody, up and down i'll go, cherish every moment i am having
make sure i do no regrets, and sending love to those whom i love so much.

All the best to me=)