My Precious friends

I love my friends, my best friends. i really do.
i cant imagine my world without them. They lighted up my life.
We laughed together, cried together. We met in highschool and since then we are together always.
After highschool we still hanged out together, but after we got our final exam results we all went different ways,
going to college, University...but we never stop contacting each other and hang out once in a while
Today is the 8th day of Chinese New Year, and we(me, son, kei and nana) went to Shakey's Pizza to hang out.
We chated for hours. All those memories seems coming back to us, about what stupid
and funny things we did, what is the wildest stuff we create..our lifes..what we have been watching lately..
I found that eventhough time has changed, the places around us has changed, the people around us has changed..
but our friendship remain the same. we are still so close to each other eventhough sometimes studies will
create a distance between us, but we never feel apart. Our heart never feel that distance.
We still can chat for hours like usual, just like we did when we always hang out together.
What we think is still the same, what is funny what is hot and what is not. Our interest is still the same.,
Fashion, idols, anime...i am very very lucky to have them. I believe in fate.that is why we are so close together..
For people who is not blood-related but yet they felt like your family is someone you should cherish forever.
I found them, the precious people besides my family and xiang.
To my precious friends, ( you know who you are^.^), may our friendship last forever.

rocky mountaint

Working IS tiring...now i understand why working poeple wanted alcohol..
a little bit of wine really makes you feel relief, it makes you feel calm..
though i am not a alcoholic but i do drink sometimes, after coming back from that
hetic work my desire for drinking grows even more..
I am so tired. My work is a little heavy as i am the assistant, i will help from
one person to another. when i finish one document i will go ask for another.
that is my job. I dont hate it, infact i will do whatever i can to make myself busy.
am i a working freak too?i dont know. i can do everything fast and immediately get another
thing to do. When i go for toilet its only 4minutes flat..
I am tired physically but not tired mentaly.Whenever i think of what can i do
when i get my salary i can keep on going.
i am so busy and tired untill i cant get creative again...
i am a person who is full of imagination, will work and earning money makes me dull..
will my mind drop from fantasy from reality?
i feel like i am climbing a rocky mountaint..everything in front of me isnt easy..
i need to go through alot to achieve something..
though i still dont know what is that thing

LUCKY?

Am i lucky or what?
this is the 3rd part time job i got..
and i got a very very nice manager..who really treats those people under him well..
my previous jobs, my bosses are good person..really..
its kind of tough to be in a new place with new faces around...
it was really uneasy when you felt like you are in a place with strangers,
you feel so alone with no one to rely on...a caring boss will cure it all^^
i wonder what this job can lead me to, and what new experience i can get..
what i can now is work hard and lay back and see....

Oldies~renew~brand new~revive

Heard an oldies on my way to an interview today, i forgot the name but the chorus
sounds like:
Why do i still loving you
When i know that you are not true
Why do i keep calling your name
When you are to blame
For making me blue..

Its short yet beautiful and meaningful, this is the attractiveness of oldies..that is why i listen to them too
(if there is any correction in the chorus above please feel free to tell me)
Got my new job in Kinokuniya, as a part time customer service assistant..
wonder how it is like..but anyhow i feel revive again..
i do not now how is this work will be and how it works.
but i am for sure that i am all alone to face any problems ahead.
i dont have any friends beside me as i am new there...
next tuesday is the day i start my new battle...for the sake of my future
i can no longer ask for money to do what i think is best for me..i need to earn in order to do what is best for me myself

Itsuka boku wa misete ageru, hikarikagayaku, sekai wo(nightmare-the world)

What i want

it had been a bad day for me yesterday, it was so damn bad untill i was lazy to online and blog
My feelings back then its like i was going to kill...pretty bad huh?
I really had a lot on my mind, work, studies, future..i know thinking too much and it might make me
hard to go on in life same as worrying too much..
yesterday i had a bad day its because i can't really find what i wanted.
Mum wants the best for me
Dad wants the best for me
You want the best for me
He wants the best for me
She wants the best for me
They want the best for me
but i dont know what i want and what is best for me. All these years i have been following the path
that is been choosen aka the best for the sake of my future.
What i really wanted?i do not know...
My parents ground me for going to work, because they think it was too dangerous for me
i can understand that and i am thankful enough for them to be so concern.
Due to that i can't go to work and that means no money going in my pocket. Feeling rather down i went watching
my fav anime for now---Keroro Gunso. But my dad came along and nagged. He said i should be reading books. I felt sick
didnt i read enough for the pass two years? i felt like vomitting because i studied too much. 4 thick books of businesse studies, 6 thick books of world, Malaysia, Asia and Islamic HISTORY, the never ending general knowledge and National Language just for the sake to sit for the hardest exam in Malaysia and the 3rd in the world! STPM!
i am not a bright student or what so ever, i tried my best but i cant get flying colours..heck i am dying.
Ok enough of the studies. i offed the pc and went upstairs, thinking bout going for a movie with my brother,
i really need to get out and loosen up abit. i went over and asked my brother if he like to go for a movie with me, that's when my parents nagged at me AGAIN. they said just becasue i earn some money i wanted to spend and why cant a save up those money and why i like to wonder outside?
OK!I WANTED TO GO TO WORK YOU SAID NO, I WANTED TO STAY AT HOME AND DO THE THINGS TO RELAX MYSELF YOU NAGGED! I WANTED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HOME YOU NAGGED AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT? AND WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT?
i really dont know...really!i felt so bad yesterday that i screamed at my bf, i lost control.
but i felt better today. My understanding bf accompany me to places i wanted to go yesterday and my friends standing by my side, chatting with me..thankz you guys. soon i will find what i want.

Changes~

i've changed the way i cover my blanket...i use to fold it twice before i cover it on top of me..
but lately i open it wide...i don't know why, because i used to feel uneasy and weird if i open it wide
but now it had change.

i've changed my message ringtone on my phone. it used to be a light, soft and short ring.
i changed it to some actionpack sound from Kamen raider's show. i don't know why i change it.
maybe its because i like Kamen raider very much. and the ringtone is way cool~!

i changed my attitude, or you can say my way.
it has been a tradition for me to buy new cloths before chinese new year..well most people do
lately i found myself having a desire to buy things with my own money, that is the money i earn from my hard work.
too bad this year i havent got my pay yet, so i dont have money to buy any new cloths.
though i wanted so much too, but i am too proud to ask money from my parents..
its kinda stupid you might say, they are your parents anyway...but i know if i borrow from them
i will be treated as a child again...i will be nag and say i havent earn any money at all and still
need thier help. oh i can remember what they used to tell me last year.

i hope changes are good for me. i dont know where they will lead me to but i hope it is true
that i believed in my own choice.