What i want

it had been a bad day for me yesterday, it was so damn bad untill i was lazy to online and blog
My feelings back then its like i was going to kill...pretty bad huh?
I really had a lot on my mind, work, studies, future..i know thinking too much and it might make me
hard to go on in life same as worrying too much..
yesterday i had a bad day its because i can't really find what i wanted.
Mum wants the best for me
Dad wants the best for me
You want the best for me
He wants the best for me
She wants the best for me
They want the best for me
but i dont know what i want and what is best for me. All these years i have been following the path
that is been choosen aka the best for the sake of my future.
What i really wanted?i do not know...
My parents ground me for going to work, because they think it was too dangerous for me
i can understand that and i am thankful enough for them to be so concern.
Due to that i can't go to work and that means no money going in my pocket. Feeling rather down i went watching
my fav anime for now---Keroro Gunso. But my dad came along and nagged. He said i should be reading books. I felt sick
didnt i read enough for the pass two years? i felt like vomitting because i studied too much. 4 thick books of businesse studies, 6 thick books of world, Malaysia, Asia and Islamic HISTORY, the never ending general knowledge and National Language just for the sake to sit for the hardest exam in Malaysia and the 3rd in the world! STPM!
i am not a bright student or what so ever, i tried my best but i cant get flying colours..heck i am dying.
Ok enough of the studies. i offed the pc and went upstairs, thinking bout going for a movie with my brother,
i really need to get out and loosen up abit. i went over and asked my brother if he like to go for a movie with me, that's when my parents nagged at me AGAIN. they said just becasue i earn some money i wanted to spend and why cant a save up those money and why i like to wonder outside?
OK!I WANTED TO GO TO WORK YOU SAID NO, I WANTED TO STAY AT HOME AND DO THE THINGS TO RELAX MYSELF YOU NAGGED! I WANTED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HOME YOU NAGGED AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT? AND WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT?
i really dont know...really!i felt so bad yesterday that i screamed at my bf, i lost control.
but i felt better today. My understanding bf accompany me to places i wanted to go yesterday and my friends standing by my side, chatting with me..thankz you guys. soon i will find what i want.