Last night i had a dream,
i dreamt i was in a ballroom, there was a stage, a low one.
there wasn't a crowd. but only 20 spectators, including me.
We were all excited because soon glay will be on stage to perform thier latest song.
I remembered when Glay came out, all of us roar with excitement..
I still remembered, Teru's hair was short..he looked really young and sporty..
I love and adore him so much. Along with Hisashi, Jiro and Takuro, the music melted our hearts..
After they finished the song, Teru said something in Japanese, and also in english. i wanted more but they left.
I was so happy when i woke up. It was my dream to meet all 3 of my idols..Glay is one of them.
i wonder if i really have a chance to meet them, i will burst out in tears. I am not a fanatic fan but i am a die heart fan.
i really do love thier songs. they gave me strenght when i was weak, they gave me hope when i don't have one,
they gave me faith when i lost my believe.
i believe in thier songs.
I am very happy eventhough it was just a dream because this kind of dream doesn't come all the time.
But it made me wonder, will dream come true? will i be given a chance to meet them?even once in my entire life?
i am wondering, hoping and praying...
I want to meet them.
Itsuka, aitai.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
The courage to move on.
How many times you have fall in life.
The day when you get bad results in your exams
The day your boyfriend dumped you?
The day you got fired from your job?
The day when you got slapped in your face?
The day that you lost everything?
The day when you are broke?
I met a customer today. She looks pretty ordinary when she came to the counter. her smile
is so bright that it made me felt the sunshine and the warm of it. She is just an ordinary person searching for books..
Except that she didn't tell me what book she is looking for, she wrote it on a paper and showed it to me.
Yes, she couldn't speak.
I tried to search and locate the book from my system. but i couldn't find it. I felt so sorry because i wanted
to see her excited face when she knows that the book she is looking for is available. i felt so guilty.
I stood up from the computer and speak to her to tell her i couldn't find the book because it was out of stock. She showed a sign telling me to write down what i've said just now.
Yes, she couldn't hear
i showed a sorry sign to her and again i see her smile and showing me it's ok.then again she thanked me with a smile.
At that moment i can feel the warm feeling rising up to my heart and it triggers the tears in my eyes.
In my mind i suddenly felt that i am much more weaker than she is. Her will to live has outshone my determination. I was
so worried about my results which is coming out this thursday, and i am so insecure about me getting in local universities
and so afraid that i might not cope if i were to study law courses.
What the heck is that, who cares if i got bad results in stpm? i must be grateful for what i got.
i can hear beautiful music, hear sweet talks, i can speak when i am sad, i can speak when i am happy or angry..
i am normal. and yet how dare i was to felt like i am not satisfied with my life?
This girl will have to live a soundless life, and there might be jerks that look down on them, makes them felt bad.
But she, still standing strong, smiling brightly that lighten ups everyone's day.
I know i will surely be crying my heart out if i am not on duty. i will give her a hug because i know love and support from
people are what she needs.
Thanks to her i had learned a valuable lesson in life. May god bless her, may the smile of hers never fade from her face.
The day when you get bad results in your exams
The day your boyfriend dumped you?
The day you got fired from your job?
The day when you got slapped in your face?
The day that you lost everything?
The day when you are broke?
I met a customer today. She looks pretty ordinary when she came to the counter. her smile
is so bright that it made me felt the sunshine and the warm of it. She is just an ordinary person searching for books..
Except that she didn't tell me what book she is looking for, she wrote it on a paper and showed it to me.
Yes, she couldn't speak.
I tried to search and locate the book from my system. but i couldn't find it. I felt so sorry because i wanted
to see her excited face when she knows that the book she is looking for is available. i felt so guilty.
I stood up from the computer and speak to her to tell her i couldn't find the book because it was out of stock. She showed a sign telling me to write down what i've said just now.
Yes, she couldn't hear
i showed a sorry sign to her and again i see her smile and showing me it's ok.then again she thanked me with a smile.
At that moment i can feel the warm feeling rising up to my heart and it triggers the tears in my eyes.
In my mind i suddenly felt that i am much more weaker than she is. Her will to live has outshone my determination. I was
so worried about my results which is coming out this thursday, and i am so insecure about me getting in local universities
and so afraid that i might not cope if i were to study law courses.
What the heck is that, who cares if i got bad results in stpm? i must be grateful for what i got.
i can hear beautiful music, hear sweet talks, i can speak when i am sad, i can speak when i am happy or angry..
i am normal. and yet how dare i was to felt like i am not satisfied with my life?
This girl will have to live a soundless life, and there might be jerks that look down on them, makes them felt bad.
But she, still standing strong, smiling brightly that lighten ups everyone's day.
I know i will surely be crying my heart out if i am not on duty. i will give her a hug because i know love and support from
people are what she needs.
Thanks to her i had learned a valuable lesson in life. May god bless her, may the smile of hers never fade from her face.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
My Precious friends
I love my friends, my best friends. i really do.
i cant imagine my world without them. They lighted up my life.
We laughed together, cried together. We met in highschool and since then we are together always.
After highschool we still hanged out together, but after we got our final exam results we all went different ways,
going to college, University...but we never stop contacting each other and hang out once in a while
Today is the 8th day of Chinese New Year, and we(me, son, kei and nana) went to Shakey's Pizza to hang out.
We chated for hours. All those memories seems coming back to us, about what stupid
and funny things we did, what is the wildest stuff we create..our lifes..what we have been watching lately..
I found that eventhough time has changed, the places around us has changed, the people around us has changed..
but our friendship remain the same. we are still so close to each other eventhough sometimes studies will
create a distance between us, but we never feel apart. Our heart never feel that distance.
We still can chat for hours like usual, just like we did when we always hang out together.
What we think is still the same, what is funny what is hot and what is not. Our interest is still the same.,
Fashion, idols, anime...i am very very lucky to have them. I believe in fate.that is why we are so close together..
For people who is not blood-related but yet they felt like your family is someone you should cherish forever.
I found them, the precious people besides my family and xiang.
To my precious friends, ( you know who you are^.^), may our friendship last forever.
i cant imagine my world without them. They lighted up my life.
We laughed together, cried together. We met in highschool and since then we are together always.
After highschool we still hanged out together, but after we got our final exam results we all went different ways,
going to college, University...but we never stop contacting each other and hang out once in a while
Today is the 8th day of Chinese New Year, and we(me, son, kei and nana) went to Shakey's Pizza to hang out.
We chated for hours. All those memories seems coming back to us, about what stupid
and funny things we did, what is the wildest stuff we create..our lifes..what we have been watching lately..
I found that eventhough time has changed, the places around us has changed, the people around us has changed..
but our friendship remain the same. we are still so close to each other eventhough sometimes studies will
create a distance between us, but we never feel apart. Our heart never feel that distance.
We still can chat for hours like usual, just like we did when we always hang out together.
What we think is still the same, what is funny what is hot and what is not. Our interest is still the same.,
Fashion, idols, anime...i am very very lucky to have them. I believe in fate.that is why we are so close together..
For people who is not blood-related but yet they felt like your family is someone you should cherish forever.
I found them, the precious people besides my family and xiang.
To my precious friends, ( you know who you are^.^), may our friendship last forever.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
rocky mountaint
Working IS tiring...now i understand why working poeple wanted alcohol..
a little bit of wine really makes you feel relief, it makes you feel calm..
though i am not a alcoholic but i do drink sometimes, after coming back from that
hetic work my desire for drinking grows even more..
I am so tired. My work is a little heavy as i am the assistant, i will help from
one person to another. when i finish one document i will go ask for another.
that is my job. I dont hate it, infact i will do whatever i can to make myself busy.
am i a working freak too?i dont know. i can do everything fast and immediately get another
thing to do. When i go for toilet its only 4minutes flat..
I am tired physically but not tired mentaly.Whenever i think of what can i do
when i get my salary i can keep on going.
i am so busy and tired untill i cant get creative again...
i am a person who is full of imagination, will work and earning money makes me dull..
will my mind drop from fantasy from reality?
i feel like i am climbing a rocky mountaint..everything in front of me isnt easy..
i need to go through alot to achieve something..
though i still dont know what is that thing
a little bit of wine really makes you feel relief, it makes you feel calm..
though i am not a alcoholic but i do drink sometimes, after coming back from that
hetic work my desire for drinking grows even more..
I am so tired. My work is a little heavy as i am the assistant, i will help from
one person to another. when i finish one document i will go ask for another.
that is my job. I dont hate it, infact i will do whatever i can to make myself busy.
am i a working freak too?i dont know. i can do everything fast and immediately get another
thing to do. When i go for toilet its only 4minutes flat..
I am tired physically but not tired mentaly.Whenever i think of what can i do
when i get my salary i can keep on going.
i am so busy and tired untill i cant get creative again...
i am a person who is full of imagination, will work and earning money makes me dull..
will my mind drop from fantasy from reality?
i feel like i am climbing a rocky mountaint..everything in front of me isnt easy..
i need to go through alot to achieve something..
though i still dont know what is that thing
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
LUCKY?
Am i lucky or what?
this is the 3rd part time job i got..
and i got a very very nice manager..who really treats those people under him well..
my previous jobs, my bosses are good person..really..
its kind of tough to be in a new place with new faces around...
it was really uneasy when you felt like you are in a place with strangers,
you feel so alone with no one to rely on...a caring boss will cure it all^^
i wonder what this job can lead me to, and what new experience i can get..
what i can now is work hard and lay back and see....
this is the 3rd part time job i got..
and i got a very very nice manager..who really treats those people under him well..
my previous jobs, my bosses are good person..really..
its kind of tough to be in a new place with new faces around...
it was really uneasy when you felt like you are in a place with strangers,
you feel so alone with no one to rely on...a caring boss will cure it all^^
i wonder what this job can lead me to, and what new experience i can get..
what i can now is work hard and lay back and see....
Friday, February 09, 2007
Oldies~renew~brand new~revive
Heard an oldies on my way to an interview today, i forgot the name but the chorus
sounds like:
Why do i still loving you
When i know that you are not true
Why do i keep calling your name
When you are to blame
For making me blue..
Its short yet beautiful and meaningful, this is the attractiveness of oldies..that is why i listen to them too
(if there is any correction in the chorus above please feel free to tell me)
Got my new job in Kinokuniya, as a part time customer service assistant..
wonder how it is like..but anyhow i feel revive again..
i do not now how is this work will be and how it works.
but i am for sure that i am all alone to face any problems ahead.
i dont have any friends beside me as i am new there...
next tuesday is the day i start my new battle...for the sake of my future
i can no longer ask for money to do what i think is best for me..i need to earn in order to do what is best for me myself
Itsuka boku wa misete ageru, hikarikagayaku, sekai wo(nightmare-the world)
sounds like:
Why do i still loving you
When i know that you are not true
Why do i keep calling your name
When you are to blame
For making me blue..
Its short yet beautiful and meaningful, this is the attractiveness of oldies..that is why i listen to them too
(if there is any correction in the chorus above please feel free to tell me)
Got my new job in Kinokuniya, as a part time customer service assistant..
wonder how it is like..but anyhow i feel revive again..
i do not now how is this work will be and how it works.
but i am for sure that i am all alone to face any problems ahead.
i dont have any friends beside me as i am new there...
next tuesday is the day i start my new battle...for the sake of my future
i can no longer ask for money to do what i think is best for me..i need to earn in order to do what is best for me myself
Itsuka boku wa misete ageru, hikarikagayaku, sekai wo(nightmare-the world)
Monday, February 05, 2007
What i want
it had been a bad day for me yesterday, it was so damn bad untill i was lazy to online and blog
My feelings back then its like i was going to kill...pretty bad huh?
I really had a lot on my mind, work, studies, future..i know thinking too much and it might make me
hard to go on in life same as worrying too much..
yesterday i had a bad day its because i can't really find what i wanted.
Mum wants the best for me
Dad wants the best for me
You want the best for me
He wants the best for me
She wants the best for me
They want the best for me
but i dont know what i want and what is best for me. All these years i have been following the path
that is been choosen aka the best for the sake of my future.
What i really wanted?i do not know...
My parents ground me for going to work, because they think it was too dangerous for me
i can understand that and i am thankful enough for them to be so concern.
Due to that i can't go to work and that means no money going in my pocket. Feeling rather down i went watching
my fav anime for now---Keroro Gunso. But my dad came along and nagged. He said i should be reading books. I felt sick
didnt i read enough for the pass two years? i felt like vomitting because i studied too much. 4 thick books of businesse studies, 6 thick books of world, Malaysia, Asia and Islamic HISTORY, the never ending general knowledge and National Language just for the sake to sit for the hardest exam in Malaysia and the 3rd in the world! STPM!
i am not a bright student or what so ever, i tried my best but i cant get flying colours..heck i am dying.
Ok enough of the studies. i offed the pc and went upstairs, thinking bout going for a movie with my brother,
i really need to get out and loosen up abit. i went over and asked my brother if he like to go for a movie with me, that's when my parents nagged at me AGAIN. they said just becasue i earn some money i wanted to spend and why cant a save up those money and why i like to wonder outside?
OK!I WANTED TO GO TO WORK YOU SAID NO, I WANTED TO STAY AT HOME AND DO THE THINGS TO RELAX MYSELF YOU NAGGED! I WANTED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HOME YOU NAGGED AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT? AND WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT?
i really dont know...really!i felt so bad yesterday that i screamed at my bf, i lost control.
but i felt better today. My understanding bf accompany me to places i wanted to go yesterday and my friends standing by my side, chatting with me..thankz you guys. soon i will find what i want.
My feelings back then its like i was going to kill...pretty bad huh?
I really had a lot on my mind, work, studies, future..i know thinking too much and it might make me
hard to go on in life same as worrying too much..
yesterday i had a bad day its because i can't really find what i wanted.
Mum wants the best for me
Dad wants the best for me
You want the best for me
He wants the best for me
She wants the best for me
They want the best for me
but i dont know what i want and what is best for me. All these years i have been following the path
that is been choosen aka the best for the sake of my future.
What i really wanted?i do not know...
My parents ground me for going to work, because they think it was too dangerous for me
i can understand that and i am thankful enough for them to be so concern.
Due to that i can't go to work and that means no money going in my pocket. Feeling rather down i went watching
my fav anime for now---Keroro Gunso. But my dad came along and nagged. He said i should be reading books. I felt sick
didnt i read enough for the pass two years? i felt like vomitting because i studied too much. 4 thick books of businesse studies, 6 thick books of world, Malaysia, Asia and Islamic HISTORY, the never ending general knowledge and National Language just for the sake to sit for the hardest exam in Malaysia and the 3rd in the world! STPM!
i am not a bright student or what so ever, i tried my best but i cant get flying colours..heck i am dying.
Ok enough of the studies. i offed the pc and went upstairs, thinking bout going for a movie with my brother,
i really need to get out and loosen up abit. i went over and asked my brother if he like to go for a movie with me, that's when my parents nagged at me AGAIN. they said just becasue i earn some money i wanted to spend and why cant a save up those money and why i like to wonder outside?
OK!I WANTED TO GO TO WORK YOU SAID NO, I WANTED TO STAY AT HOME AND DO THE THINGS TO RELAX MYSELF YOU NAGGED! I WANTED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HOME YOU NAGGED AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT? AND WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT?
i really dont know...really!i felt so bad yesterday that i screamed at my bf, i lost control.
but i felt better today. My understanding bf accompany me to places i wanted to go yesterday and my friends standing by my side, chatting with me..thankz you guys. soon i will find what i want.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Changes~
i've changed the way i cover my blanket...i use to fold it twice before i cover it on top of me..
but lately i open it wide...i don't know why, because i used to feel uneasy and weird if i open it wide
but now it had change.
i've changed my message ringtone on my phone. it used to be a light, soft and short ring.
i changed it to some actionpack sound from Kamen raider's show. i don't know why i change it.
maybe its because i like Kamen raider very much. and the ringtone is way cool~!
i changed my attitude, or you can say my way.
it has been a tradition for me to buy new cloths before chinese new year..well most people do
lately i found myself having a desire to buy things with my own money, that is the money i earn from my hard work.
too bad this year i havent got my pay yet, so i dont have money to buy any new cloths.
though i wanted so much too, but i am too proud to ask money from my parents..
its kinda stupid you might say, they are your parents anyway...but i know if i borrow from them
i will be treated as a child again...i will be nag and say i havent earn any money at all and still
need thier help. oh i can remember what they used to tell me last year.
i hope changes are good for me. i dont know where they will lead me to but i hope it is true
that i believed in my own choice.
but lately i open it wide...i don't know why, because i used to feel uneasy and weird if i open it wide
but now it had change.
i've changed my message ringtone on my phone. it used to be a light, soft and short ring.
i changed it to some actionpack sound from Kamen raider's show. i don't know why i change it.
maybe its because i like Kamen raider very much. and the ringtone is way cool~!
i changed my attitude, or you can say my way.
it has been a tradition for me to buy new cloths before chinese new year..well most people do
lately i found myself having a desire to buy things with my own money, that is the money i earn from my hard work.
too bad this year i havent got my pay yet, so i dont have money to buy any new cloths.
though i wanted so much too, but i am too proud to ask money from my parents..
its kinda stupid you might say, they are your parents anyway...but i know if i borrow from them
i will be treated as a child again...i will be nag and say i havent earn any money at all and still
need thier help. oh i can remember what they used to tell me last year.
i hope changes are good for me. i dont know where they will lead me to but i hope it is true
that i believed in my own choice.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Life is like a bed of roses with torns
*drip...drip*
I slowly open my eyes again and turn around, watching blood dripping from my finger tips.
I feel a little pain as soon as i saw my own blood.
I hit the wall again, i reached the end of the road again.
Open and close my eyes slowly i suck my finger softly, it hurts a little physically
but it hurts more mentally..
I am lying on a bed of roses, but with torns all around it. before i could touch
and smell the scent of the beautiful rose, i have to move my hands arouond
to feel around and get prickle by torn which revolves around it.
Life is like this, isnt it?
You will fall you will get hurt you will bleed before you can get to the
beautiful future that you hope and wish for. It really hurts sometimes.
You will need courage, bravery, patient and many more to keep you going..
After a while, i start to move my finger around again, hoping to touch that beautiful rose.
*drip...drip*
Blood is dripping again..
guess i hit the wall again.
But i will try again.Don't worry i will be fine.
I slowly open my eyes again and turn around, watching blood dripping from my finger tips.
I feel a little pain as soon as i saw my own blood.
I hit the wall again, i reached the end of the road again.
Open and close my eyes slowly i suck my finger softly, it hurts a little physically
but it hurts more mentally..
I am lying on a bed of roses, but with torns all around it. before i could touch
and smell the scent of the beautiful rose, i have to move my hands arouond
to feel around and get prickle by torn which revolves around it.
Life is like this, isnt it?
You will fall you will get hurt you will bleed before you can get to the
beautiful future that you hope and wish for. It really hurts sometimes.
You will need courage, bravery, patient and many more to keep you going..
After a while, i start to move my finger around again, hoping to touch that beautiful rose.
*drip...drip*
Blood is dripping again..
guess i hit the wall again.
But i will try again.Don't worry i will be fine.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Whisper of the wind
It has been windy lately.
Maybe it is because Chinese New Year is just around the corner.
I love when the wind blows..when it hits upon my ear drums..
it felt so good..
That is why i love the sea too.
Standing beside the sea makes me calm,
With the wind brushing through my hair and whisper in to my ears..
With the sand underneath my feet and soft waves washing my toe
How you ever wonder the wind actually whisper..
It brought along human's wish, hope, grudge, sadness, happiness..
Listen to it carefully,you might know how lucky you are to be what you are here and now
Maybe someday you can whisper to the wind too, and let it bring to others ears...
Maybe it is because Chinese New Year is just around the corner.
I love when the wind blows..when it hits upon my ear drums..
it felt so good..
That is why i love the sea too.
Standing beside the sea makes me calm,
With the wind brushing through my hair and whisper in to my ears..
With the sand underneath my feet and soft waves washing my toe
How you ever wonder the wind actually whisper..
It brought along human's wish, hope, grudge, sadness, happiness..
Listen to it carefully,you might know how lucky you are to be what you are here and now
Maybe someday you can whisper to the wind too, and let it bring to others ears...
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
NEw YEaR 2007~though its a bit late..
hahaha i seems to be late for new year's post...
gosh i am using this blog for 2 years already...^.^
well i am not the kind of ppl who change things, place or the stuff i like fast..
i like stick to a place and like something for a very long time...
for example Gackt Glay and w-inds...i like them since i was in secondary school..
(now i am already 20)..ahahaha i am not afraid to tell everyone my age...coz i looked young
ppl said that i look more like 17...XD
well here's something i wanted to share...new pv from my fav idols..
1st up is hanamuke...sung by w-inds. i LOVE THAT SONG~!though its a bit sad..TT_TT.but
i love the part where keita singing high pitch...he is great~!!!^.^
2nd is a legendary rock band--GLAY~!!!Man!they have been a band for more than 10 years..they are awesome~!!!^.^
this song is very very light rock..and Glay style..haha..its call 100 man kai no kiss^.^
and finally Gackt~!the God..ahaha i call him that coz he looks like one...XD
perfect~!..though he still have any new pv yet..put there's some picz of his single...^.^
the white colour cover is limited edition and the black colour is normal edition..
darn i want both><
happy new year 2007 to all my beloved family and friends....and of course to my fav idols..
hope this year is a smooth year for you guys~!love ya all^.^
gosh i am using this blog for 2 years already...^.^
well i am not the kind of ppl who change things, place or the stuff i like fast..
i like stick to a place and like something for a very long time...
for example Gackt Glay and w-inds...i like them since i was in secondary school..
(now i am already 20)..ahahaha i am not afraid to tell everyone my age...coz i looked young
ppl said that i look more like 17...XD
well here's something i wanted to share...new pv from my fav idols..
1st up is hanamuke...sung by w-inds. i LOVE THAT SONG~!though its a bit sad..TT_TT.but
i love the part where keita singing high pitch...he is great~!!!^.^
2nd is a legendary rock band--GLAY~!!!Man!they have been a band for more than 10 years..they are awesome~!!!^.^
this song is very very light rock..and Glay style..haha..its call 100 man kai no kiss^.^
and finally Gackt~!the God..ahaha i call him that coz he looks like one...XD
perfect~!..though he still have any new pv yet..put there's some picz of his single...^.^
the white colour cover is limited edition and the black colour is normal edition..
darn i want both><
happy new year 2007 to all my beloved family and friends....and of course to my fav idols..
hope this year is a smooth year for you guys~!love ya all^.^
Monday, December 04, 2006
w-inds. CHIANG~!!!!^.^
I forgot how or when i started to like w-inds...haha lately it seems like i've forgottan alot of things...
well i went to w-inds. e-cafe, my fav w-inds. forum all time and forever....because keiko chan and other admin sure
made d forum a place a w-inds. fans must be^.^...ok back to the forum surfing thingy...
as i said i went to the forum...just to update myself to w-inds. latest news and pictures...found some not so new but can consider new pictures...oh my keita has grown so so so mature~!!!^.^ and ryuichi...can see his wildness and born-to-be-rocker's side of him is more and more obvious..ryohei..well he is mature too..haha but duno why he looks the same to me..
(sorry ryohei..><" but you do looked the same...)
Keita...so mature^^
ryohei~!!cute^^
RYU CHAN~!! so hot~!!sexy~!!!cute~!!cool~!!!ARGH~!X3
and the most exciting new i saw is keita's solo album is out~!!! omedetto keita chan~!!^.~
The album's name is call Koe and it is released since 29th of November..yay~!
aiks...i wanna buy~!!!!!!!!T^T
*all news and photos from w-inds. e-cafe*
well i went to w-inds. e-cafe, my fav w-inds. forum all time and forever....because keiko chan and other admin sure
made d forum a place a w-inds. fans must be^.^...ok back to the forum surfing thingy...
as i said i went to the forum...just to update myself to w-inds. latest news and pictures...found some not so new but can consider new pictures...oh my keita has grown so so so mature~!!!^.^ and ryuichi...can see his wildness and born-to-be-rocker's side of him is more and more obvious..ryohei..well he is mature too..haha but duno why he looks the same to me..
(sorry ryohei..><" but you do looked the same...)
Keita...so mature^^ryohei~!!cute^^RYU CHAN~!! so hot~!!sexy~!!!cute~!!cool~!!!ARGH~!X3and the most exciting new i saw is keita's solo album is out~!!! omedetto keita chan~!!^.~
The album's name is call Koe and it is released since 29th of November..yay~!
aiks...i wanna buy~!!!!!!!!T^T
*all news and photos from w-inds. e-cafe*
Friday, December 01, 2006
It's been a long time..a real long time...
i thought i have forgotten my own blog account a second ago....hahaha seems like this blog almost become a history in my mind...
but then i remembered^^...*happy happy happy~@!* hahaha...
a lot of things happened lately...having my stpm is one of the hardest task i ever experience...
the tense the pressure were far more then i expected...there are sometimes i was about to break down..i dont want no stpm i dont want no university i dont want no law~!!!><..but i still manage to go through it~!hooray to mysefl~!!^^
something has changed too..it a best friend...imagine you have a best friend whom you spend almost everything together...
cute guys, sneak out for a movie,fashion and many other stuff....suddenly in some years you found that person is telling you lies all along...in that instant you really dont know which line of hers to believe...because she is telling you a story but infront of other best friends she told another side of the story...she hang out with the guy you another best friend likes...she hold his hand,pull him everywhere,lean on his shoulder,dance slow dance with him onfront of that another best friend of mine and they were so close AND SHE ACTED AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPEND AFTER THAT! I bet anyone of you will be scolding *F*** if you read this..really it was mine and that another best friend's of mind's feeling when she did that. She loves clubbing and hang out with guys whom she knows for one weeks, she even kissed some stranger...this is something we never thought that she become..so cheap and low standard..but we are ok with it..its her life anyway..she dances pole dance and let other guy to carry her up the stage..to dance...but she didnt trust us..let me tell you why..for of us, her ex best friends planned a surprise birthday party two weeks before her birthday. the plan is group A to kidnap her close her eyes and tie up her hand. then we will carry her out of the car when we reached zoo. and inside the zoo right infront of the entrance group B will light up the cake and then that is wehn we will open her eyes and realese her...everything went smoothly and we reached zoo as normal...when we carried her out..she starts to struggle and she when mad and start to shout out loud to scold us.that moment we dont know what to do but released her...that day no one is happy...we've plan it so hard just to surprise her and what we get is she shouting at us?and here is the link that we are very dissapointed and mad is that she let a GUY whom she knows for few weeks carry her up the stage to dance pole dace RATHER THAN letting us whom she knows for many years carry her into the zoo to give her a surprise....oh isnt it F***ing when you think about it...it seems like our friendship towards her is worthless when she found some other thing that she thinks is more fun than hagging out with us that is clubbing...
many people advise us to just let her go let her fall and let her learn..but they didnt understand the pain we are facing because that is someone you loves to much as a friend. When you love someone so dearly and that love is been betray and tunr into a priceless junk..that is when that love turn in to hate...i hope i wont come to hate her...this is because now i am just treating her as a normal friends, because she didnt do anything that off the limit for me to hate her NOW...i mean NOW but i didnt mean in the future she wont..as i said i have lost my faith in her...
Friendship is something sweet and something pretty
if you lost he faith you have in each other,
somehow you are not meant to be...
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Passive Malaysian
i am just being straight...but i do am dissapointed by the passive attitude of Malaysians...
i thought people who love Gackt will support me in making a 100% Malaysian Gackt Community...am i too naive to think that i am able to achieve this dream?i don't know..its just i wanted to do something for Gackt, or maybe i wanted him to know in Malaysia there's a group of fans that love and support him all the time. Eventhough we are so far from him, but we will still continue to support and give him all the love we can give to him no matter what. He is just someone we will respect all the time...
I manage to collect 30 person message to send to Gackt for his birthday last year, this year i am on again but collecting only signature...but i get a cold respond from the fans even those who joined me last year. I am really dissapointe...i really am...i know everyone is busy studying, working and stuff, but all i can say if, if you have the determination to send me that signature, you can manage to send..busy is merely an excusse..sometimes i just wanted to give up..but when i look at Gackt pictures and those who already sent thier signature to me and for those who really cared...i held on....
ps:maybe i might offend someone with my words..sorry for that..>.< and for those who support and believe in our dream to create a community in Malaysia for Gackt..thankz so much~!^.^
i thought people who love Gackt will support me in making a 100% Malaysian Gackt Community...am i too naive to think that i am able to achieve this dream?i don't know..its just i wanted to do something for Gackt, or maybe i wanted him to know in Malaysia there's a group of fans that love and support him all the time. Eventhough we are so far from him, but we will still continue to support and give him all the love we can give to him no matter what. He is just someone we will respect all the time...
I manage to collect 30 person message to send to Gackt for his birthday last year, this year i am on again but collecting only signature...but i get a cold respond from the fans even those who joined me last year. I am really dissapointe...i really am...i know everyone is busy studying, working and stuff, but all i can say if, if you have the determination to send me that signature, you can manage to send..busy is merely an excusse..sometimes i just wanted to give up..but when i look at Gackt pictures and those who already sent thier signature to me and for those who really cared...i held on....
ps:maybe i might offend someone with my words..sorry for that..>.< and for those who support and believe in our dream to create a community in Malaysia for Gackt..thankz so much~!^.^
Saturday, March 04, 2006
love letter
Lover letter, its been awhile since i Gackt singing that song. It always touches my heart, bring me back to the time where love is so pure and down to earth, back to the time whene e-mails, telephones are not created, a time where poeple write love poems and love letter to confess their love. It is just simply touching...Gackt nail it...he can really go deep down inside your heart, and make you realise which is your own ture self...
eien wo aruitte yukeru
korekara mou zutto futari de
kono mune ni tsuyoku dakishimete
omoi waka wa ranai kanaka hitotsu dakara
aishiteru
That chorus was the best~! Gackt san i will always support you, you always help me find the real me, gave me strenght to go on and the strenght to beat the odds. As you once said, "if you put your mind in it, you can achieve anything!"
Arigatou ne~! Gackt san
*the love letter lyric is not copied. i wrote down base on what i hear from the song
eien wo aruitte yukeru
korekara mou zutto futari de
kono mune ni tsuyoku dakishimete
omoi waka wa ranai kanaka hitotsu dakara
aishiteru
That chorus was the best~! Gackt san i will always support you, you always help me find the real me, gave me strenght to go on and the strenght to beat the odds. As you once said, "if you put your mind in it, you can achieve anything!"
Arigatou ne~! Gackt san
*the love letter lyric is not copied. i wrote down base on what i hear from the song
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Long time no see
It's been awhile since i make a visit here....
i kinda miss it here...where i use to write my emotions,feelings in a beautiful way...hahahaha
well life was busy for me..and things just change in a blink of eyes.....its already 2006 you know..
never thought that time pass so fast that i am in my final year of my stpm..that is my major exams...and school activities, i can not not to be involve...school had its rules...one must have society,games and erm i forgot what it call....hahah..XD
in just half a year...i've also found the one that i would spent my whole life with....isn't that a wonderful yet shocking thing...hahha as i said things does change fast
but i hope miracle will happne on me...i want to go to japan~! i want to pass my exam will flying colours~!i want to get in univeristy of malaysia and law course...~!i want w-inds. 5th album~! THANKS~! i want diabolos dvd (Gackt concert)~! i want my gackt project to go well~!
i am demanding.,....hahaha...>.<
i kinda miss it here...where i use to write my emotions,feelings in a beautiful way...hahahaha
well life was busy for me..and things just change in a blink of eyes.....its already 2006 you know..
never thought that time pass so fast that i am in my final year of my stpm..that is my major exams...and school activities, i can not not to be involve...school had its rules...one must have society,games and erm i forgot what it call....hahah..XD
in just half a year...i've also found the one that i would spent my whole life with....isn't that a wonderful yet shocking thing...hahha as i said things does change fast
but i hope miracle will happne on me...i want to go to japan~! i want to pass my exam will flying colours~!i want to get in univeristy of malaysia and law course...~!i want w-inds. 5th album~! THANKS~! i want diabolos dvd (Gackt concert)~! i want my gackt project to go well~!
i am demanding.,....hahaha...>.<
Friday, August 12, 2005
Hazy days~blurry ways
What can you do on a hazy days? Drink lots of water, stay at home and avoid outdoor activities, bath more, wear a mask, blah blah blah...basically, you do nothing on a hazy days. I am really lazy, yes i am,in these two days, i found myself lazy to do anything except online, watching tv, or messaaging with my phone. I should be studying or maybe doing my homework, i know, but i just don't have the urge to do it, i am too lazy too. Yes due to the weather my nose is stuck, but is it ok that i blame the weather for my laziness? Maybe i can, right? I think a lot too, in these two days, my path ahead is still blurry, it's even more blurry in these blurry days,(haha, a cold joke). Well, whenever i have a rest or a holiday or whatever you call it for a day or two, i will be thinking, because i don't have school stuff or working stuff to think of. i can think of anything away from them. Thinking about Gackt, Glay adn W-inds. I've kinda lost track in thier works, although i never miss thier new songs, but it seems like they are drifting away, far far away form me...what i can do to get them back? and music. My one and only dream, it's draining away too....what had happen? Am i really too busy to put time and effort to it? Or is this weather's fault again that i can't go out adn practise as a band? For those who;s not living in Malaysia now, you guys are lucky, you didn't know how bad the weather is here, it kinda effect your emotions too, with your nose block and trap at home...with your eyes sore and the air out there is stinky, way to stinky and poisonous too breath, oh man! somebody save me!
Sunday, July 31, 2005
90 degree~turning point
Yup..it's life....we have to move from one stepping stone to another. I am 17 going on 18.....it sounds like a song from "The Sound Of Music"...well don't mind that. I am 17, and is going on 18. There is where the turning point will happen in my life?I don't know, it seems like lately i had a 90 degree turn my life. i used to know what i really want but don't have the guts make it an action.but now, i will do whatever that is in my mind, i will make a move to fullfill it. and i will most likely to clearify my stand. I know it's new and akward to me, not to say my parents, and thier reaction is what i expected and i got to face with it. I think my father is still mad at me because of the decisions i had make. I know, it's new to me too, i am as shocked myself. Yet, in life we still need a turning point right?to proceed to another path, a path that you choose. I am growing up fast i know, but, i still have to get a smooth turn on that turning point, before i can proceed in my life. Is that so?Suddenly i have a song in my head."life's like this, yea, that's the way it is..." COMPLICATED by AVRIL LAVIGNE.A great song that suits my mood now.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Nobody, i am a nobody.
Often i say i am me, me and only me. but then i realise i am a nobody. I am just a normal old me doing what she doens't enjoy to, doesn't know where will her future lead her too. and is that future is what she wants? does that future lead to the live she wants? i had those questions in my mind lately. I've been working, behind my parents back. they tell me not to work as that will affect my studies. i wonder why wouldnt' they give me a chance? I want to know if i am wise enough to blance up my work time and study time. Though lying to them is a painful thing to do, but just for the chance, i done it. And for money too. i don't know, maybe this long holiday makes me realise that, with money we can do a lot of things easily. though money doesn't mean you can buy everything on earth, but u can buy anything. I really do work for money, as one of my reason. I have a thinking that, only money will help me fullfill my dreams. i am not sure where does that thinking actually come from, but i do need money. My dreams?i know and i can see it very clear, going to japan and music. i don't like law that much, and i know it's not an easy course to study. i am not the kind of person with a good brain, or someone who likes to study. i like something free, something artistic.like music! often i see people who found thier dream, and some in music. i really admired and envy them. that's what i wanted all along, to hang on on things i really love and keep on doing it. but, so sad i can't. i am stuck to law, mt parents discourage me in music, they said it wouldn't bring food on the table, i must need a 100% garentee job to do that, like lawyer or teacher.i don't know...i am so lost sometimes...everything doesn't seems to come my way, and they didn't turn out the way i want. What i do now to calm myself down is, do my best to pass everyday by,i don't know what will happen, but i will do my best to face everything.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Where are you?~
Where are you?You appeared in my dreams, you appeared around me. Why don't you show yourself?I want to know, i want to see you, i want to feel you to touch you. I want to leave with you. You are the one i love, the one i can rely on. You are my light, you are my everything. I know you are still far away, but, i really wanted to have a peep and have a glance of you.......
Sounds like i'm looking for my lover right?Well actually what i meant is my future. I don't know wat lays ahead.I want me to be happy of what am i doing....i want to be success in live but yet success in things that i love. I love music, although i cannot see my future in music, but i am working very hard. And now my i'm starting school....walking to a raod that many people say it's a bright future. I like law, i have interest in it, but...my passion and love is in music. I do not know what fate will bring me, what my future lay ahead.....that is why i wish to take a peep, i'm curious...will i make it?living a life doing things i like..following the road i love...is that the right way to go? I've got to try my best, no matter what. "If you put your mind in it, you can accomplish anything."
Sounds like i'm looking for my lover right?Well actually what i meant is my future. I don't know wat lays ahead.I want me to be happy of what am i doing....i want to be success in live but yet success in things that i love. I love music, although i cannot see my future in music, but i am working very hard. And now my i'm starting school....walking to a raod that many people say it's a bright future. I like law, i have interest in it, but...my passion and love is in music. I do not know what fate will bring me, what my future lay ahead.....that is why i wish to take a peep, i'm curious...will i make it?living a life doing things i like..following the road i love...is that the right way to go? I've got to try my best, no matter what. "If you put your mind in it, you can accomplish anything."
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